July 20, 2010

Wednesday Wickedness

Here's Wednesday Wickedness!

Today we picked Ellen Degeneres.

1. "I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves."

How old were you when you started working and what was your first job?

I was 16 when I got my first ‘real’ job. My title was ‘outside porter’ which I suppose sounds better than parking lot sweeper. I worked with my (now) brother-in-law. We worked for a Spanish fellow who’s English was a bit dodgy. He always wanted us to make the parking lot ‘sparkless’ (sparkle).

2. "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

Tell us about your grandparents.

My dad’s parents came from down south. Grandpa didn’t say much to kids, except to call me ‘John Henry’ – grandma would make the most wonderful applesauce cake. She was such a sweet lady. She’d say the same thing every time she opened a present, no matter what it was:: “Just what I always wanted!”

We saw more of my mother’s parents. Grandpa was retired as long as I can remember. He’d worked at a local shipping/loading dock and sometimes drove delivery trucks. He used to pop-out his false teeth like a bulldog to ‘scare’ the grandkids. Grandma was a thin woman who demanded respect in her house. (After all, she had seven kids) I was a bit afraid of her (until I got a bit older).

3. "Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off."

Do you procrastinate or are you on top of the situations?

I’ll get back to this one. (Just kidding) I tend to procrastinate when it comes to tasks I don’t really want or like to do. But sometimes I’ll hurry up and get them done and out of the way. I sometimes procrastinate on things I like to do as well, but not as much.

4. "Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others."

What would others say about you?

That’s a ridiculously broad question. I’m sure one could find somebody to say almost anything about another person, so it depends on whom you ask.  I think I’m mostly seen as a happy-go-lucky person.

5. "The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble"

Do you believe in life on other planets?

I’m certain there’s life somewhere out there. I don’t know if it’s what we would call ‘intelligent life’ – or if we’re even capable of recognizing it as life – but I’m sure there is some form of ‘life’ in the universe besides ourselves, which would be a most arrogant presumption.

6. "I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."

Do you have a godchild?

Nom since the whole Godparent-Godchild idea is usually a Catholic thing, and I’m not Catholic.

7. "I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'"

When was the last time that you were called too thin?

I don’t know that I’ve ever been called too thin, except maybe when I was first born. These days I’m built more for comfort than speed.

8. "I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'"

Who was the last person that you should have recognized but didn't?

I don’t know; I didn’t recognize them! (Ha-ha!)  Actually, the only thing I have trouble with is putting names to faces; the last time I remember doing that was with an ex-step-cousin who I hadn’t seen in about 10 years.

9. "I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words."

Do you work out? Have you ever joined a gym and quit almost immediately?

I’ve flirted with working out a few times, but I’ve never gotten into a regular routine. I’d have to either wake up at 5:00 a.m. (I have enough trouble waking up at 6:30) or I’d have to work out after work which, besides sounding redundant, is the last thing I feel like doing after work! But I am trying to get into shape; I’m shooting for ROUND! ( That’s a shape, right?)

10. 'We use 10 percent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 percent."

Do you feel that you utilize all your intelligence in every situation?

Since we’re dealing with absolutes here (‘all’ and ‘every’), of course the answer is “no.”  But I do try to be as calm and logical as any situation will allow - they just doesn’t always allow it.


  1. um, i hate to think i am utilizing it all with some of the decisions i have my first job was working on a loading dock actually...

  2. "But I am trying to get into shape; I’m shooting for ROUND! ( That’s a shape, right?)"

    Agree with you, Eric. Round is a shape too. But your answer still make me laugh though (lol)


  3. "Built for comfort rather than speed" I LOVE that! That is definitely me, too.

  4. lol, I like that line too...

  5. You sure don't forget the vision of someone popping their teeth out :)

    Have a great Wednesday!

  6. Got a great kick out of your answers! "I don’t know; I didn’t recognize them!" had me ROFL! Happy Hump day...

  7. Welcome to Thursday Poets Rally week 25, which run July 22-July 28,, you are represented as fresh poets:

    Sign in here as New participant:

    Leave your poem link here and comment for 18 poets from participants list New 2 you:

    Hope that you enjoy the fun!
    Happy Thursday!

    ignore if you want to stay out.


You may put in your 2¢ worth, but I'll only pay you a penny for your thoughts.